Monsters and Heroes

Eph. 2:2-3
"... The prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience- among whom we all once lived..."

Satan once had power over me. He had access to me. I was loyal to him in my ignorance. Deception. Hate. Murder. Blood-thirsty monster. He hates me. He kissed me as he led me to death. He was leading me to eternal fire. I can imagine his song- so enticing but something wrong about it. A beautiful creature stroking my hand with promises. How deceived I was.

Christ, with piercing light, revealed that darkness. I said "I believe You are God." You bathed me in blood so holy that evil claws released their grip. You resurrected me to truth. You held me closely as I cried in shame. You sang to me songs of a forever love. You are perfect. You satisfy. Your promises never fail. You rescued me from darkness. I forgot where I came from. The memory chills me. Thank you, my Savior. My Hero.

Bing

I love looking at the daily photos on the Bing homepage. Today's photo is of the Ngorongoro Conservation Area in Tanzania. It's breathtaking. An African elephant walks through brush while a backdrop of towering, slender trees frame a smooth, flowing mountain range. Extravagant words could stretch endlessly trying to capture its beauty and never succeed.



Yesterday's photo was a night shot of the Brooklyn Bridge in NYC. Sparkling lights and resilient architecture stretch over the placid river. The distant skyline glows in the background.

I flip between the two photos, entirely different settings. There is just no comparison. Tanzania puts NYC to shame. God's creation is incredible. Sure, mankind has engineered some pretty amazing things, but these structures are nothing next to the majesty that God spoke into existence. "Let there be dry land." His beauty and love are so evident in the wonderfully diverse earth He created.

I have traveled to some mesmerizing places. God's raw creation always leaves me speechless. I remember flying over Greenland. The people next to me on the plane probably thought I was an overgrown 6 year old. My heart (and body) were jumping in excitement at my Father's handiwork. Turquoise, like paint, spilled against jagged, ice-topped mountains. The sheer color of the water made my heart squeal.





Also flying over the Swiss Alps, I remember being terrified by its majesty. Cruel, jagged ice claws scraped through the clouds. It was a beautiful and humbling sight. Our God will not be mocked. He is holy and wonderful. Yet we can know Him. He transcends my logic.

I remember watching the sunset on Grand Cayman. A pink and orange sun turning the blue, glass water to purple. I remember praying- "I'm the one in your image? You died to save me? Creation screams your glory, but we are the crown of Creation? I don't understand it. Father, You are beautiful. You leave me speechless."

Rewind

I used to think I had something to say. I used to think I had a message. Not in pride, but in passion my heart overflowed to "paper". My mind could go forever into words and wonder about the beauty of God, the endless complexities in my mind.

Now? Now I feel contained, maybe constrained. I feel as though I have nothing to say. My answers are directly to the point and nothing else. I blame this change on life. Heart break helped me build a massive fortress. There are walls around me I can't even navigate myself. Daydreaming and emotions made me vulnerable so I turned them off. College life as a biology major consumes my time and energy. I am blessed to study God's creation, but in the midst of studying I have learned to observe and report. Constant academic demands leave me unaware of how much time has passed since I just sat and experienced Him. My daily quiet times with Him are my only source of true life, but to keep it in my prayer journal... seems unfair.

God created me with passions that should lead me to my ministry. I don't know what my passions are. This sort of thing used to be a passion, but I may have lost it. This is my attempt to rekindle a passion, to experience that passion that He blessed me with, and to reflect on life. Reflection is an under-appreciated treasure. I want to find it again.