I used to think I had something to say. I used to think I had a message. Not in pride, but in passion my heart overflowed to "paper". My mind could go forever into words and wonder about the beauty of God, the endless complexities in my mind.
Now? Now I feel contained, maybe constrained. I feel as though I have nothing to say. My answers are directly to the point and nothing else. I blame this change on life. Heart break helped me build a massive fortress. There are walls around me I can't even navigate myself. Daydreaming and emotions made me vulnerable so I turned them off. College life as a biology major consumes my time and energy. I am blessed to study God's creation, but in the midst of studying I have learned to observe and report. Constant academic demands leave me unaware of how much time has passed since I just sat and experienced Him. My daily quiet times with Him are my only source of true life, but to keep it in my prayer journal... seems unfair.
God created me with passions that should lead me to my ministry. I don't know what my passions are. This sort of thing used to be a passion, but I may have lost it. This is my attempt to rekindle a passion, to experience that passion that He blessed me with, and to reflect on life. Reflection is an under-appreciated treasure. I want to find it again.
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